I went to Bethel today to visit a friend who works in Admissions. It was great to walk the halls again and see people that had an impact on my life. College was hot bed of growth for me. That got me to thinking about how different I thought life would be when I was in college.
Don’t get me wrong, I adore staying at home with Brennan and I wouldn’t change it for the world. What I didn’t expect was how much I would enjoy the job I left behind. I didn’t think that I would work in Corporate America at a health insurance company for that matter. I never thought that at the age of 25, I would be entrusted with the careers of men and women who were older than me. More than that I didn’t think that I would love it so much. I didn’t enjoy the confrontation that came with managing people but I loved seeing a person’s potential and helping them see it too. I loved encouraging those on my team to rise to the challenge and become better. I loved the team of supervisors I worked with. I loved my manager. I did love my job.
I remember the day I made the decision to stay home. I was sad. I felt like maybe I wouldn’t know who I was any more without my job. I didn’t want to become “mom” and only that. I didn’t want to lose my identity. It’s not that my job gave me my identity but it helped me gage how I was doing in life with annual reviews and monthly one-on-ones with my manager. There are no annual reviews in this job now that’s for sure! There isn’t anyone saying, “Great job! You didn’t flip out as much as you could have when Brennan pooped all over the floor.”
Staying at home IS the greatest job though. Even though I don’t get a pat on the back from my manager, every time Brennan looks up at me and giggles when I move my face closer to his my heart melts. I love that I haven’t missed any part of his life and that we are completely in sync with each other. I love watching him play with Chula in the afternoons and laughing hysterically at her when she doesn’t do anything at all. I know that being a stay at home mom sometimes causes women to lose who they are, I sincerely hope that I don’t lose sight of who Elizabeth Morgan is. I will never regret this decision that I made and I’m so grateful that Ben supports this.